Michal Daliot advises: how to get an 8-year-old to stop sucking a finger?

My oldest son will soon celebrate his sixth birthday, and will enter the first grade, but I wonder if it is worth keeping him in kindergarten for another year. The preschool psychologist advised me to do this because he was moving house and changing kindergarten in the middle of the year. What do you think?

"When we are debating whether to raise a child to the first grade or keep him in kindergarten for another year, we need to check a few things. First and foremost, check what vocabulary the child has. He needs to have a good vocabulary. We must also not forget the fact that he needs coordination, eye contact hand and a strong belt of muscles in the shoulders to hold the pencil well. The child also needs various social skills, a certain level of attention and intelligence. He needs to be able to analyze situations. For example, when you show him a picture of a sad child and ask him what he sees, he says that he sees a child Sad because mom didn't come to pick him up, or a child sad because he misses his dad. The child has another six months until he goes to first grade, and at that age six months is enough time to find the right professional who can work with him on what we think is missing. If he had a difficult year, what do you expect from him? And let's not forget that he had the corona virus before that. That's why you need to come and see how they strengthen him. Keeping a child his age in kindergarten for an extra year means taking into account that he can get bored, and if he gets bored, how will he Will he behave later? What behaviors will he develop and take with him to first grade? If you are in doubt, and you are not sure that you are satisfied with the opinion of the psychologist in the kindergarten, you should contact him to get another opinion. In my view, as long as the child is able to do all the things I mentioned at the beginning, there is no obstacle to letting him progress to school – you don't leave a child in kindergarten just because of a difficult year."

I am the mother of an 8-year-old girl who tends to suck her finger at every opportunity. A few weeks ago I made an agreement with her: every day that she does not suck her finger, I put five shekels in her savings. She really managed to cut down on finger sucking, but not quit completely. How can I help her quit?
"Sucking a finger is a very automatic action, it doesn't rely on cognition. That's why she doesn't notice when she sucks a finger. I ask you to be satisfied with what she's doing, she makes an effort and tries to break this habit, so let's not get worse with her. Be satisfied with the progress Hers until now, and keep going – every day she doesn't suck his finger, give her the five shekels you promised her – this arrangement is working. I believe that in another month the situation will improve."

My 3-year-old son comes to our bed every night, and we have a hard time getting him back to his room. This disturbs our sleep sequence, and we wake up in the morning exhausted. How to regain our quality of life?
"The question of whether to sleep with the child or not depends on the attitude. There are cultures where it is a legitimate thing, and there are those that accept it less understanding. One way or another the child wakes himself up to go to your bed, and to change the pattern in question you have to work in a gradual and correct way. First All, I want the child to stop waking up at night, so it is important that one of you both sleeps with him in his room. Of course not to sleep in his bed or a friend's bed, but on a mattress on the side of the room. If the child wakes up and wants to sleep next to you, it is important to return him to his bed and tell him that you are there, and that you He is watched over, but he has to sleep in bed. After a week when the child does not wake up at night, there is a chance that he will stop waking up. This is out of an understanding that has begun to mature in him that you are there, and that he has no reason to get up. Of course, you will continue to sleep in the room for another week to anchor it more strongly with The child. If after another week he doesn't wake up, go back to sleeping in the double bed."