What will? This is how we will deal with the anxiety over the Iranian attack

In a well-known video on the net, a monk is seen in a stoic pose, presenting and explaining the following flowchart: "Why worry?" In an attempt to release the shackles of emotions, thoughts and events in reality and find inner peace. Really why worry? And it is so logical, simple, true and fair. So why the hell are we crazy with worry?

And you want to shout, why worry? I'll tell you why to worry, because we have no sense of security after 7/10, because Iran is threatening to destroy us, because Hezbollah in the north is firing missiles at the settlements, because the threats are real and real, our children are fighting, citizens are captives, and worst of all, we have no idea what will happen . So hell, of course we'll worry. And how will we take care of it?

But does it serve us? So probably yes. Definitely yes. Even if I can't really change the situation? Probably so. It's an unbearable experience, the situation is surreal, how can I continue my life as usual, so I worry. somehow connected to the general pain. Maybe even magically 'paying' my debt to the Creator (forever?) with my concern. Maybe that way my family members will be more protected.

If I don't take care and something happens, it's because I was negligent in taking care of them, the care is my insurance certificate. That is, worry somehow reduces unbearable feelings of helplessness and uncertainty. When can our concern in a situation of uncertainty become a problem? when it impairs function. Our fighting children are also in an uncertainty that leads to action, vigilance, but if this continues for a long time and leads to functional impairment, this is already a problem.

So don't worry, we won't take the worry away from you. But we would like to add to it actions. I worry = I do. I donate and volunteer, I play sports, I pray, I demonstrate, the main thing is to do something. But before that, we should get to know ourselves – it seems that some people are more tolerant of murky situations and periods of uncertainty than others.

Some people require complete control and some people are able to accommodate ambiguity more than their friends. At the extremes we are already talking about psychopathologies, but in the normal range we are all painted in different shades that emphasize to one degree or another our tolerance for uncertainty. Those who enter the current situation with their early sensitivity to anxiety and concerns under conditions of uncertainty, will find themselves even more anxious and depressed during this period. Uncertainty is the foundation of anxiety. And it can be said that many many in our society today suffer from an adjustment disorder or a general anxiety disorder, we are restless, fearful, anxious, depressed and angry.

Examine yourselves – do you ask your husband once to take out the garbage when he is free, but from that moment on you check again and again if he has done so? Can't really let go? And you, are you busy with every movie choice on Netflix, did you miss a better choice? How much can you trust, really trust, others? Do you interpret every situation of uncertainty that will inevitably develop into something bad or dangerous and neglect other possibilities, maybe even prefer a bad situation to uncertainty (let it happen already and be done with it…)?

Consequences of such an approach to situations of uncertainty will lead to a negative reaction at the emotional, thinking and behavioral level. Given that the ability to contain uncertainty is directly related to our states of anxiety and depression, let's see how we can increase tolerance, the ability to bear uncertainty especially these days.

First, to recognize what I can do that is under my control and what is not under my control . Did I buy a few sixes of water on the recommendation of the Home Front Command? candles? Media? The organization of the protected space? excellent. What is out of my control? When and what will be the nature of possible escalation.

Second, focus on the present . What will happen in the future is unknown to us. We must be present here and now, focus on home and family presence. We will keep in touch with our loved ones, we will demand the safety of our neighbors and elderly acquaintances, we will hold on to everyday life and the things we enjoy doing.

Third, accept the anxiety. I'm worried and apprehensive about what might happen, but it's important to me to get up in the morning to make sandwiches for my children, to take care of my elderly neighbor, so I'll do it despite the worry and not spend my time huddled under the covers or staring at the changing news. ??..?.??

And finally, identify anchors and return to them again and again . pay attention to the breath. Practice slow and conscious breathing. Touch the body and its sensations, feel the ground and the contact of the body with the chair while sitting. And also to touch, lean and hug with a loved one. It's good for both us and him. The current situation is temporary .

The author is the head of the psychology department at Ahva Academic College and the Center for Mental Health in Be'er Sheva