After 20 years of marriage, Shai Avivi and his wife make a dramatic decision: "going on a break"

After 20 years of marriage and great love, the comedian Shai Avivi and his wife Michal Livdinsky declared that they decided to make a break in the relationship. The two, who live together in Pardes Hana and raise two children together, already separated about a decade ago and chose to return to each other's arms. This time too the couple chose to move away and even moved to live in separate houses – as of the time of writing these lines with no prospect of a return, if at all.

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In the post that Michal shared on her Facebook page, she revealed the difficulties they faced, the fears they now face in the days of separation and the disappointment of the feeling of failure that accompanies it. "I'm sitting down to write the post I always feared that a day would come and I'd have to sit down to write: we're going on break.
This means that we live in separate houses, we don't know when we will return, we take into account that there is a possibility that we won't return, but we go on a break with the intention of meeting again."

"A decade ago we also did this. We took a break that taught us a lot, the growth for each and every one of us of our own backbone that dissolves a little in the press of life as a couple, and after that we returned to each other and to each other stronger. And here it is happening again. It's exciting. It's scary. It Happy. It's sad. This year we close twenty years of marriage and twenty-five years together. That's a lot of time together. We have long understood that the marital journey does not end with the phrase "they lived happily ever after". The marital journey to the depths of love is a journey of daily work in all aspects. In communication, in feelings, in sexuality. Stopping the marital work is a moment to rest from everything we hold, and to come back to ourselves."

"In our personal case, there was always a burden that we were unable to dismantle together, and we feel that it is time to try to dismantle it alone.
Resting from work together feels a bit like cleansing the body – no gluten, no sugar, no together. We got so used to living together. We got addicted to living together. What does it do to the heart and body to live alone for a moment?" At this point Michal shared the fears that accompany her before the dramatic separation:

"1. What will they say – as a couple who deals with relationships, teaches relationships, opens spaces for relationships – are we allowed to take a break at all?? Are we allowed to break up?? It is true that we have always promoted the key 'space alone' as an important key to an active relationship, but this time we are taking it To the end. What will they say?? What are we saying?! A relationship has been our work for a decade and I was always afraid that the work would take over the truth – that we would not find ourselves working to hold a pose. I promised myself to be loyal only to the truth of the heart. Let's go, and not to how it will look or what They will say. So this is the truth of our path right now."

"2. Feeling of failure – have we failed? What does it mean that we teach to live together, and we ourselves go on a break? I answer to myself that I am not in a competition. I never thought that it was a competition: who lasts the most time together. The only competition, if you can even call it that , is to take care of our heart to be happy and satisfied and to do what is necessary for that. If the heart is happy and satisfied – we won. No matter what format we chose to live in."

"3. Simcha Laid – I assume that there will be those who would be happy to hear – and Pair, I completely understand them. 'Simcha Laid' is an ugly description of the truth that is part of our nature. I myself happen to be 'Simcha Laid' in all kinds of situations – it is an emotion I am ashamed of, I don't want to admit it, I certainly don't want to be proud of it – but what can I do, I know it inside of me. I would like it not to be inside me, but it is. As it is inside me, I know it is inside others and others. It's part of being human, and that's okay."

"4. Effect on other couples – I am concerned that the fact that we are going on a break will affect other couples. Some of it will sadden, some of it will discourage. Maybe it will inspire some. It is strange that my relationship is not only a personal thing but also a public thing. I need to explain our moves, and also to feel responsibility for other relationships. I guess that's how it is after a decade of personal sharing from our married life. I've always advocated a customized relationship. I don't believe that there is any template that you can put your heart into and say 'this way yes' or 'this way no' . I believe that every good couple will design the path that is right for them. For us, this is what feels right at the moment. These are more or less the main fears. I was debating whether to write this post or not. Maybe wait a little longer. Maybe write when we are later and not in the process. But I feel That I have a commitment to the truth of our way. And this break brings up all kinds of new topics that are interesting to write about. It's scary. Very."

"5. What will they say?? So right now we live separately, but still work together. We present the show about a "happily ever after" relationship that is already an independent entity and we are at its service. At the same time, we are also developing ourselves separately. This break is a kind of bet: everything or Nothing. Either we will lose the precious structure of togetherness we built, or we will meet again in a different way. Even more together, free of charges, more complete, joining hands towards the last third of life.
There is a desire and intention to finish this incarnation together. And there is also controlled evidence that this may not happen. time will tell".

"Right now, deep in the ocean of the unknown, far beyond the comfort zone, it feels like another reincarnation of life. I suddenly realized that most of my life I almost live together, and that I don't really know what it's like to live 'not together'. It's scary, it's sad, it's amazing, It's fun, it shrinks, it expands, it opens – what's for sure is full of life. Everything is very, very awake. As usual, I will continue to report from the field. To the true life of the heart, of the road, of life."